My origin story is when I started stuttering around the age 4, after experiencing two traumatic events that brought on significant psychological distress. First, I almost drowned in a pool and second, was bit by an Uncles dog.
At age 19, I finally had the opportunity (and $$$) for speech therapy — to get rid of my stutter “once and for all” at a 3-week intensive speech therapy (fluency shaping) program.
The picture above is me several years later after the program when I donated my artwork to ISTAR, the Institute of Stuttering Treatment and Research in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.
It's funny, you would never know from the smile on my face that I felt anything less than happy. I now see the mask I was wearing. Back then, it was so ingrained in me to put on a facade and hide what I was truly feeling.
I’ve since learned that there are so many other factors at play when maintaining fluent speech, and in this way, I believe the speech therapy program failed to set me up for success in the long-term.
In fact, it's unfortunately common (and predictable) that I failed to maintain fluency after speech therapy. According to a survey done by the National Stuttering Association (May 2009), one key finding was that 84% experienced a relapse after improving their fluency in therapy.
Don’t get me wrong, speech therapy does have a role to play in the treatment of stuttering…but only about 15%, not the entire equation.
I'm not knocking down speech therapy. Actually, it lays a great foundation in which to build on. It's not that speech therapy doesn't work, it's just that in the long term it doesn't last if you don't work at it.
It's been my observation that most people, including myself, at the time of completing a speech therapy intensive program, are not always equipped with the additional skills needed to keep motivated through the stress and typical ups and downs of life.
So what happens is a relapse: the worst place to be. It's either a slow drip or a fast and furious feeling of panic and despair — a downward spiral of everything you've worked for go down the drain.
Even though in my mind I knew I could go back for more help, somehow I believed they would be disappointed in me that I was not living up to their expectations...and felt like a failure for needing help again.
Want to know why this happened?
Because there’s so much more going on beneath the surface of your stutter, beyond the physical mechanics of speech. Stuttering isn’t just about one factor — it’s many factors that come together.
Speech therapy alone is simply not able to address all of these factors effectively. This is why thinking that speech therapy is the one-stop-shop solution to all of your problems doesn’t work.
What you need is a holistic solution that helps you learn about and address every cause affecting fluency (because you do have fluency, it’s just that there are other issues getting in the way).
What's also needed is a solution that helps you grow in the areas by practicing the skills that are the must-have ingredients for changing behaviour: discipline, consistency, resilience and much more.
The good news, all of these traits are learnable. Just like most other traits, no one is born with these skills and habits, so you can learn and grow into them at your own pace.
To recover from stuttering, it's a long game…like a marathon, not a sprint. And like any great athlete, they didn't get where they are on their own.
Diving deep into knowledge and 'knowing' what to do, only gets you so far and then you get stuck again. Plus, it gets lonely and it's easy to give up on yourself when no one is watching (am I right?!)
During my 9-month coach training, I learned about the Wheel of Life and that you and everything in your life is interconnected. This makes sense for stuttering as well, as it affects every part of your being.
A big part of feeling out of control is not understanding why you stutter — when you’ve told yourself a million times not to stutter.
Through an intense process of self-reflection, research and study, I’ve identified several factors that not only start stuttering but more importantly, keep it alive. When you stutter, it's due to factors that are unique to you.
Once you start working with these factors (not against them), everything starts to change (I know because I'm living proof!). These 7 Fluency Factors are: Temperament, Body, Relationships, Emotions, Mind, Environment and Behaviour.
Knowing the factors that influence your stutter in any given moment, gives you perspective to make new choices that help you, not hinder or hold you back.
For the most part, this is true.
But because stuttering I started stuttering at such a young age, I still have a few hiccups here and there, where I experience moments of disfluency in my speech. However unlike before, this happens not nearly as often or as severe.
I'm now a highly fluent person who can go about my business and personal life, doing what I need to do. Situations that were once scary and impossible are now doable, as I can speak with greater confidence, ease and flow.
Without the burden of stuttering, a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, freeing up energy to focus on other aspects of my life.
A few fun facts about me:
• I can’t help but blink and mess up every picture taken of me (that’s why there are so very few pictures on this website 🤣).
• I have no self control when chocolate is in the house so my husband hides it and brings it out for special moments (thanks sweetie!).
• On my TV watchlist are shows about survival, murder mysteries, conspiracy theories, science fiction and end-of-the world movies.
• In less than 24 hours, I went to Las Vegas by myself to see Hall & Oates in concert (having a stutter didn't help when a customs officer pulled me aside for questioning at the airport).
• I’m terrible at loading the dishwasher. It’s the bone of contention in my marriage.
• At any given moment, I’m either hot or cold. I'm pretty much like goldilocks trying to find just the right temperature.
I'm still a human being that is perfectly imperfect.
"Paige helped me realize a lot about my mindset and the steps required to overcome a fixed mindset."
I initially got in touch with Paige to address my stuttering, but I soon realized that there were quite a few underlying issues such as self talk, self image, self worth, etc. that were to be dealt with — before dealing with the surface issue of stuttering.
Working with Paige has been extremely fruitful and an absolute pleasure. She has helped me realize a lot about my mindset, and the steps required to overcome a fixed mindset.
One of the most important things she helped me understand is the difference between doing something out of fear and doing something that you truly WANT to do.
Paige has been a friend, a mentor and a coach to me — which is a rare combination!
DIV, India
"Paige helped me realize a lot about my mindset and the steps required to overcome a fixed mindset."
I initially got in touch with Paige to address my stuttering, but I soon realized that there were quite a few underlying issues such as self talk, self image, self worth, etc. that were to be dealt with — before dealing with the surface issue of stuttering.
Working with Paige has been extremely fruitful and an absolute pleasure. She has helped me realize a lot about my mindset, and the steps required to overcome a fixed mindset.
One of the most important things she helped me understand is the difference between doing something out of fear and doing something that you truly WANT to do.
Paige has been a friend, a mentor and a coach to me — which is a rare combination!
DIV, India
You might be feeling anxious and frustrated, struggling to maintain what's left of fluency. I know it might feel like you've taken a step (or more) backwards, but take heart — coaching meets you where you are, helping you find exactly what works for you.
You might be feeling anxious and frustrated, struggling to maintain what's left of fluency. I know it might feel like you've taken a step (or more) backwards, but take heart — coaching meets you where you are, helping you find exactly what works for you.
paige@thehappystutterer.com
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